Each season evokes different feelings for me, and while fall is a time of year that I love, I also find it quite melancholy. (This may not come as a huge surprise, and I shall attribute it to my Irish roots from my great-grandmother.) I guess it is a reminder to be grateful for the bounty, the beauty and the warmth, for they will pass for a time.
Fall can be a time of adjustment, from first days of school taking our babies away for the first time, to first days of college, taking our babies geographically far away and leaving us with empty nests. Teary transitions often.
Fall is a time of transformation; from green to crimson and gold, from flower to fruit and seed, from the heat of the sun to a cooler time.
Fall is a time of transition; from growth to fallow and rest, from green fullness to bare beauty, from the front porch to the chair by the fire. In the garden the activity of furry and winged friends becomes frenetic as time is shortening to prepare for winter survival. On the path the birdsong is becoming quiet as summer nesters leave to winter where it is warmer.
Fall is also a time of contrast; lush to bare, green to gold to brown, warm to cold, light to dark...
and beginnings to endings. I know that my beloved brother Alan is approaching the end of his life. It is a painful reality that is ever in my heart and mind. I am reminded of how his was a constant presence at the beginning of mine. My mom was 40 when I was born, the last of six. She was unwell after my birth and Alan often cared for me. I guess that is why I have such a deep bond with him even though we have spent our adult lives in different provinces. The pain of birth and the pain of loss.
(Alan and I)
(my grandma, Alan and I)
Yet even in the midst of sorrow, there is joy as our oldest son marries and starts a new journey. As a mother you must accept that whoever your son marries will become the new and most important woman in his life. Knowing this, you can only hope that he will choose someone that you can love and respect as well. I am so grateful as I watch with joy as my new daughter carefully tends his heart, and helps him become all that he can be. There really are no words. And, as if this were not more than I could ever hope... there are four lovely children for us to open our hearts to. A time of thanksgiving and abundance.
Fall is the time of harvest on our calendar; a time to take account of what we have to be thankful for. Do we always feel thankful? Of course not. Can we make a practice of being thankful? Yes. We have to practice the things that do not come naturally to us..like being grateful, like being kind, like saying thank you. It comes back to stopping amidst the busyness and taking just a moment to take stock....
and be grateful.
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