Making changes

My brain is hurting. I have been thinking, trying to work out how I feel about something and what the result of said thinking would look like. I want to make a change, a deliberate decision to do something in a different way. 

Change is such a part of our daily life that we sometimes do not even recognize it, we just adapt; weather changes, price changes, health changes. These changes are random and made by someone or something outside of our control, but still have to be accepted or dealt with in some way. Then there are changes that you consciously and deliberately choose to make, resulting in doing, or being, something different.

This can be problematic when you have done something or looked at things in a certain way for a long time; like me, for over 60 years now. Hence the thinking... which often leads to overthinking, then doubting,.. and the process coming to a halt.

Therefore in search of clarity, I headed for the Foulds Tract to walk; my favorite place to practice 'forest bathing' also known as  Shinrin-yoku, the medicine of simply being in the forest. This is a beautiful tract of mixed forest where I can generally walk alone and just absorb the quiet; slowly wander the path, and just breathe.

The pathway was littered with the golden leaves of the oaks in the uppermost storey and the elms and beeches closer to the floor. Many of the tall maples were still green so there will be more colour to come. The sound of the wind through the leaves was so lovely.

The sassafras tree, with its distinctive leaf shape, still stands guard at the entrance to the path but new trees are sprouting further along the way.

A solitary helleborine is still in bloom. 

I stood beneath the regal hemlock.

I received a glare from a garter snake whose business I apparently interrupted.

Robins were busily moving about the canopy, but I also saw one enjoying a bath in the pond. 

The witch hazel was in bloom and many of the branches were decorated with pine needles like Christmas tree icicles.

Tiny eyelash cup fungi, only millimetres in diameter, dotted this log,

while this sapling had larger unidentified orange decorations.

I returned to my car feeling refreshed and ready to put feet and hands to the decisions I had made. So...the holiday season is approaching once again. I decided that this is going to be a simpler time for my family. I am tired of the pressure and stress that makes this a lengthy time of anxiety. I am weary of media bombardment to buy, and the insidious subtle messages that the number and dollar value of gifts is the ultimate expression of love. And while I grew up with a strong religious significance to this time of year, I no longer espouse that in the same way. 

I think this holiday time is going to look something like this;

Gifts and gift-giving will probably take the form of donations of money, food or time to those who need it more or will use it to effect important changes in our world. I would also prefer to give the unexpected gift, the small token or surprise, throughout the year; the 'simply because' gift. 

Decorating will be more winter themed and intended to ease the darker days and colder nights. Apparently this practice is called 'hygge' (hew-guh) in Denmark. It is about taking simple moments and making them memorable, creating a sense of cosiness, comfort and contentment, and creating moments of intimacy and warmth. And, it is not about having fancy or expensive things. It is about being present where you are, with what you have, and recognizing or creating warm, special moments. 

I want to make the life I live reflect more of who I really am and what I think is important. Maybe it is a case of 'too soon old, too late wise', or maybe this is one privilege that comes with time. I don't know. I do know that what I do should reflect my values and I should be giving to my children my best and authentic self.  Perhaps it would be of value to put less emphasis on holiday family occasions being 'special' and more importance on the everyday moments that slip by so quickly.

I guess I think that not only do we need to be better stewards of our planet's resources, and soon, but we need to be better stewards of our personal emotional resources. Maybe Christmas lists need to include gratitude.